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love-letters to my son
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I love letters. They are great and tangible pieces of our hearts and our histories. They are records of our triumphs, our milestones, and sometimes our heartaches. They chronicle our friendships and our travels. They lift us up when packed full of encouragement, and take us back when we come upon notes from long ago.
I have letters my Grandma sent me from her travels in Europe and still others she penned from home and sent to my College dorm. I have notes my Grandfather sent her during the war, and Matt has a stack of letters I sent him while we were courting. I have a letter from my mom she sent me, as a new bride in Texas - I use it as a bookmark in a favorite cookbook. I have letters I've kept from friends filled with Scripture and encouragement, and even little cards cradled in the dried rose petals people gave at the births of my children.
Sweet, musky, cherished keepsakes.
Last night, after another long day with sick kids (and their sick Mama), I opened up a folder on my computer entitled "Letters to Caleb." I needed to have a love-letter greeting him from his bedside table when he awoke this morning. You see, in my illness yesterday I'd been a real grump. While I'd apologized last night as I tucked him into bed, I knew that he'd keep and remember the words longer if they were crystalized for all time in a letter.
As I tapped on the folder in the right hand corner of my computer screen, "Letters to Caleb" opened up before me, and this past love-letter caught my eye:
My Son, September 2005
In just 8 weeks time your brother is coming to live with us.
While we’ve had an incredible time being just the three of
us for nearly two years now, I trust we’re in for an even
greater gift when our trio becomes a marvelous quartet!
However, before Brody’s arrival, I wanted to write you a
little note, telling you how priceless this time has been.
Never again will I be able to give you all of my mothering
attention, and I confess that I am grieving the loss of that
undivided love. I know that your brother and you are going
to be the greatest of friends and I am pleased that you and he
will begin building memories together from practically the
start of your life. But it baffles me that these last two years
will only be locked away in your Dad and my memories,
along with some darling video footage!
How we have
cherished these moments gazing at you, watching you grow,
and marveling at the joy you alone have brought us.
Soon enough, I’m told, none of us will be able to imagine
our family without both boys! That may be the case, but I
will always treasure the days I spent with my 1st born miracle.
Thank you for teaching me how to love you. Thank you for
captivating me with your ball play, new words, dancing, and
pure adoration. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Yours, always and forever,
Mama
I wiped a couple warm tears from my eyes and scrolled down to the bottom of the document to record another letter. This was what I wrote last night.
Dear Caleb, February 23, 2012
I’m sad you have been sick this week, but I’m also so glad we got to have these special days together watching shows, reading books, and playing games. We’ve had a good time, haven’t we?
But I know that yesterday wasn’t the best of our sick days. I was a real crabby-pants. I felt yucky and was tired and I wasn’t patient with you. I pointed out everything you did wrong rather than all of the wonderful things you were doing right. I’m so sorry about that.
Just so you know, I think your Project on Washington and Lincoln is AWESOME! And your circus for Asher’s Birthday was so thoughtful. You are smart, kind and WONDERFUL.
Thank you for forgiving me when I lose my cool. You are so good to me.
This morning I was reading Psalm 7 and these words caught my eye;
“I will give thanks to the Lord according to His righteousness...”
God’s righteousness is the best thing in the world, Son. If I always had to be righteous (right) and perfect, I’d be a real loser. But I don’t have to be perfect. I’m allowed to mess up and so are you. It’s God’s righteousness that saves us and makes us a little bit better each day.
Today I am so thankful for God’s Righteousness and forgiveness, and today I am thankful He gave me Y O U.
Yours lovingly,
Mama
Having love is a far more important component than being a writer when it come to writing love-letters to your children, spouse or friends. Let me encourage you today to pick up the pen or open up the laptop, scribble a note, or buy a card. What a gift and what a keepsake. Letters are tomorrow's personal history lessons.
Categories: Raising Boys, The Hard Days
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Janine
1:48 PM on February 23, 2012
This had me in tears. I just love looking back at the first two years with my oldest. We have such a special bond because of that time too, I think. Do you struggle with the fact that you haven't had that one on one time with your second son? it makes me sad that he will never have a lot of mommy-braden time, although I do try to take them each on dates occasionally. I will accept your challenge and write those letters!
What precious letters. You have inspired me to type up some words to my little ones!
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