I sat in the front pew waiting for my turn to rehearse with the choir and orchestra, replaying over and over again in my mind the tearful pleas of my six year old to stay at home instead of go to church.  "Can't another Mommy tell the people about Jesus tonight?" he wanted to know.

I don't leave the boys often, but when I do give them an early blessing and leave them with their Daddy or a friend, it's serious angst and tears.

This past weekend was a busy one for me, speaking at multiple Christmas events, and now here I was skipping out again to rehearse our church's Christmas Concert, and I'll be back again for shows Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  As I sat there pondering if I was making the right choice, Pastor Greg came up and sat down next to me.  We listened to the choir sing for a while and then walked out into the foyer together to rehearse our lines.  After we practiced a bit we were ready to go back into the sanctuary, but a thought hit me before we went in:  Pastor Greg had been a Missionary with his wife and children some years ago, and I recalled that there were multiple hardships their family endured together on the mission field... especially with their little ones.  

And so I asked,  "Pastor Greg, did you ever feel guilty or doubt if you were supposed to be serving as missionaries when your children were still so young and obviously struggling there?"  He smiled a smile that told me I wasn't the first one to ask.  I wonder if he'd received that question from Christians who were judging their choices or trying to figure out their own journey of service as a family.

"Before we left for South America a wise woman pulled me aside and said to me, 'If God has called you to this... He's called your family to this.'"  Pastor Greg didn't launch into a sermonette from there, but he did leave me with this one thought - If God has called me to share the Good News with women, then he has called my family to the same end.  The trick is finding ways to include them in the call.  

Today I asked the boys if they remembered seeing me on stage before.  They all did. Then we talked about the stories I tell to people so that they might come to know and love Jesus.  And then I asked them what they could do to help.  It was a vague question but I intended to use it to segue into a little lesson on praying for the hearts of those who are coming to the Christmas concerts.  But instead Brody said with the sweetest conviction, "we could sing for them."  My heart broke, not just at the sweet offering, but because it revealed that he got it... on some level, my boy who cries each time I leave him GOT IT!  

*  This is not a game card I get to play without thought.  I need prayerful discernment to figure out what I am to say yes to in each season of our family's life. You can pray for me in this, and that Matt and I might be inspired as to how we can include the boys in this aspect of our family's call.