I've received many sweet notes of praise concerning my tough-love parenting yesterday.  And since many have asked for an update over how things went in the afternoon... I thought I'd post this picture and the following.

It was raining when I picked Caleb up, but instead of finding my cold, dejected, remorseful guy, I discovered my usually happy-go-lucky Mr. Strong, dancing in the rain, holding an umbrella, with his busted shorts and wet tee-shirt.  I greeted all three with plenty of smiles and asked the two blondes about their days.  Caleb was eager to know what treat I brought him to which I replied, "I didn't bring you anything."  

"Why not?" He wanted to know.

"Because you didn't do the right thing this morning.  As a matter of fact, you did a very bad thing.  And after we get home you're going to have some time in your room figuring out what I thought you had figured out already today."

He was ready to fight with his words and his tears, but i held my hand up as I pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.  The universal sign for "I'm the Mama and now is not the time talk."

When we got home he went up to his room and started in on his math homework, I got the little ones settled with a rainy day movie and promised them hot cocoa with marshmallows if they could stay put while I helped Caleb upstairs.  

When I got up to his room he had finished with his math and had done a great job, so I praised him.  "However," I said, "you did a lousy job this morning. Please tell me what it was that you did and why I'm so disappointed."  After a few trial runs he seemed to finally get it.  In the end I helped him find the words.  "You did wrong, you knew you were doing wrong... you just didn't think I was going to be so upset.  Is that what I'm hearing you say?"

"Yes."

I wasn't harsh with him... but I was honest when I said, "So, you knew you were sneaking when you came back upstairs to change your clothes... you knew you were deceiving me when you quickly climbed in the car before I could catch you... and you must have felt like you were really getting away with something when you skipped off to class without me noticing."  He nodded.  And this is when the tears started to fall.  I can't describe the strange duet of compassion and joy I experienced when he finally felt a healthy dose of grief and then repentance.  

I cuddled with him on his bed for quite some time after that, as the little ones stayed glued to Peter Pan downstairs.  And as i stroked his hair this verse came to mind:

"...yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret."

 (2 Corinthians 7:9-10)

After the tears were dried and the homework was completed together and we shared a few tickles and laughs, we went downstairs, and bundled up for some play in the rain followed by hot cocoa.