If you've been here more than a couple of times than you know I delight in seeing my children mature in virtue, in character, and in our family's values.

One of those core family values is what we call "Brotherly Love."  In the past three weeks Caleb has absolutely excelled in displaying this specific type of love in our home.  Since he was given his first Baby Brother, when he was just  22 months old, it's been obvious that God specifically crafted him to be a Big Brother.  He had an innate tenderness toward both his little brothers that has remained to this day. But lately I can tell he's doing more on his own initiative; preferring purposefully, helping without being asked, and encouraging them with his words.  His love for them has brought more joy to my heart than to the hearts of the little ones he's loving, but I know that one day they will respond in turn... with demonstrative love of their own.  The wheels have been set in motion.

This idea of Preference and Brotherly Love all began with this Fall's Family Values Challenge:  

We Honor our Parents,

Prefer our Brothers,

and Encourage Others.  

Romans 12:10 is the verse that correlates with that Fraternal, middle portion.  "Be devoted to one another in Brotherly Love; in honor preferring one another."

One night at bedtime I asked the three boys, "Which would you prefer, chocolate cake or broccoli?"  A resounding "CHOCOLATE CAKE" shook the house!  So I told them that preferring something is to like it better.  And our goal as family members is to love one another so well that we actually prefer the other people in our family more than our own selves.  It's a tricky concept I know... but we work on behavior, all the while praying that our hearts (all our hearts) would catch up with our actions.  

And so this idea of Brotherly Love has been top of mind for me lately.  Books, Movies, Scriptures, Poems and Prayers all seem to have threads of this theme weaving themselves into the tapestry of my study.  

And the root concept I keep returning to is HUMILITY.  We can only put someone else's needs and wants above our own, when we have a humble view of our own self.  I think it was Charlotte, up in her web, who gave us this definition of humble: Low to the ground.  When we have an honest opinion of ourselves, not elevated and higher than it ought to be, then we are able to esteem others around us.  But when we are puffed up, we are too high to prefer and lift up another.  It's simply not possible.  And so I see that humility is key in preferring one's Brother; the crux of how we can prefer our children; and even the answer to how we can prefer our neighbors, co-workers, and friends...

A few weeks ago our natural born Big Brother came home with this Bible Verse from church:  "The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor." (Proverbs15:33)  It was that second part that caught my eye.  Romans' 12:10 tells us that in honor we are to prefer our Brothers, and here I see that humility comes before honor.  Before we can give or receive honor or preference, we need a right estimation of ourselves.  

My Pastor is known to remind us that "Humility is not just thinking of others more, it's thinking of your own self less."

"...with humility regard one another as more important than yourselves..." (Philippians 2:3b)

Once again, what a lofty concept.  I challenge your heart and your actions today to choose one or two ways to purposefully practice putting your family members or friends first today. But don't just do that... pray that God would give you a humble Spirit and a realistic vision of your place within your family, your neighborhood and your world.