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Posted by [email protected] on June 20, 2013 at 1:45 AM
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Yesterday I wrote a post entitled Making your Husband your Hero, with the main charge to treat your husband as your Hero even when he is not acting very Heroic. I find that when we come to them with love and respect, touches and joy, (rather than withdrawing into ourselves waiting for them to realize and meet our deep needs,) love is sparked again in the breasts of our men. I shared how I set a date for us when distance is growing between us, or simply when his stress level is high and we've not connected much. We date and we laugh and we eat and we play and then... I thank him for taking me out!
I've learned that I can play an active role in Making My Husband His Three Sons' Hero in a similar way. When Matt is consumed with his work load and house projects, I plan something extra-special for him to do with the boys. It can be as simple as me making cookies and cutting up watermelon and telling Matt ahead of time that he has a date in the pool with his boys at three that afternoon! Or signing them up for a Father / Son Retreat, like I did here. It might be scheduling a day for our family to go out jet skiing on the lake, or a family trip to the movie theatre. Of course some of these things I do with the boys on my own, but when their Daddy is with us, I make it about their time with HIM.
I capture each time he catapults them into the pool on film, then we look through the pictures and relive the joy of Daddy's strong arms and smiling face. When I've managed to orchestrate an evening for dinner and a movie, I encourage the boys to flank their Daddy in the theatre or the restaurant booth, and whisper "don't forget to thank Daddy for taking us out" into their ears. I smile inwardly, knowing that I managed to put our fun together, but I want them to look up to their father, not me. They know I serve them each day, they know I teach them and that I tuck them lovingly into bed each night. But their Father, their Father is who I want them to bond most deeply with, to want to emulate, to hope to grow up to be like. Their Father should be their Hero.
It's an enormous load, carrying the financial burden, fixing things that get broken at home, and a myriad of other responsibilities that occupy his mind, but I can set him up for success with just a little bit of effort. Making him their hero, even when his super strength has all but been depleted elsewhere. Planning "Friday Night Movie Nights with Dad!" complete with popcorn and soda! I am sure that they will not remember that mom picked up the movie, popped the corn, or coaxed Dad away from another pile of bills... they will simple recall their Daddy, their Hero, watching Superman, The Hobbit, Prince Caspian... with them.
I can do that! And I can pray. And pray. And pray.
Just as I mentioned our husbands should never reach Savior-Status in our hearts, so it is true in the breasts of our children. Their Father will fail, but God never will. Their Father may falter and fall, but God surely won't. I do not want to elevate my husband in such a way that the children revere him as perfect. A Father is many things, but perfect will never be one of them. He is merely an earthly Hero, though one who steadily points the way toward a Perfect Father on the other side of glory — sometimes through his strengths, other times through his weakness'. And in this too, our men need our assistance. "Pray for me," Matt has asked me many times. "Praying for me is the most powerful help you can ever give me."
And so I pray. And set up dates. And Pray. And organize camping trips in the back yard. And pray some more.
It has been a while since I've recommended two wonderful books that encourage the healthy sycles of love and respect in a marrage. Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggrichs, and The Love Dare by Nina Roesner. Truly miracle working tools!
p.s. I found you as a fellow Grace Laced Mondays blogger
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