"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...  Since we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit!"

There are days (even seasons) when the fruit of God's Spirit in our home has been sour and rancid; falling from the trees of our lives to the ground to decompose there.  We've lacked loving words, a peaceful home, patient ways, kind actions, faithfulness toward one another, gentle eyes, and self-control.  

Abide in Me, and I will abide in you,

and you will bear much fruit.  (John 15:4)

While the Word gives the true formula for producing fruit in our lives and our home (by abiding in Him), we needed tangible lessons with our children, more encouragement, and a diligent focus on these life giving and sustaining character traits (fruits).  Spending time in God's Word, abiding with Him there, and speaking of His goodness and purposes throughout our days are foundational, but I began praying for opportunities to drive the seeds deep.  

One day, during our morning devotional at the breakfast table, we went over the fruit of the Spirit again.  I asked the boys "Where does this fruit (and therefore our behavior) grow out of?"  They all answered, "Our hearts."  

Good answer, I thought.  Then I confessed, "Boys, by about three o'clock every afternoon my heart doesn't feel patient or loving anymore. I start getting grumpy. But if I have God's Spirit living in me, I need to act like it if I feel like being loving, joyful, and kind or not.  But did you know there is one fruit of the Spirit in my life that I can really grab ahold of when this starts to happen?  It's not more love, and it's not more patience... what I need is self-control."

It was a revelation for me as I spoke the words, and I think all the boys, down to the littlest, understood what I meant.  Since that blessed breakfast I haven't ridiculed them or me for lacking fruit, instead I've focused on the one piece of fruit that can keep the lack of others in check.  Self-Control. "Boys, we're all tired and we're not being kind right now.  You are a kind person, it's the fruit of God's Spirit in your life!  But right now we're just so tired.  So you need to use the muscle of your heart, that's the self-control, to make it through the rest of today with kindness.... Son, I know you are impatient right now, but you need to muscle through this with self-control and not act impatient. I know you can do this, because God's Spirit is right there in your heart, ready to help you!"  And on and on encouragement (rather than correction) flows...  Onto them and myself.  

...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.                      (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Take those thoughts captives, Mama. Take that joyless expression on your face captive. Take the impatient sighs and slamming cabinets captive.  Don't wait for the feelings (that we associate with the Fruit of the Spirit) to flood your heart, but take the outward demonstration of your emotions, right now, captive.  With sheer determination and self-control, with the muscular fruit of Self-Control, take the lack of fruit captive!

Our family has begun Ta Kwon Doe at a nearby studio owned by a Christian man who is committed to teaching the tenets of Tae kwon do to his students.  

While the children are expected to act courteously toward their Master and peers in class, show integrity and perseverance in the studio, and practice self-control and an indomitable spirit on the mat, it is for life that Master Truscott at Family Karate is training boys and girls today.  Before students can even wear a white belt (which, by the way comes with a basic uniform) parents must attest to seeing these righteous attributes at home first.  

I once heard Master Truscott say to the boys, "This is the order in which every Karate Kid repeats the Tenets of Tae kwon do.  However, I think that Self-Control should have been first.  Without Self-Control we can't consistently have any other character trait in our lives."

Ladies, we long for Fruit, in the lives of our Beloveds and in our own hearts.  But let me encourage you today to flex the muscle of your heart, the fruit of Self-Control, when the other fruits seem to be slow coming or dying on the vine.  God has begun a good work in you and your children, and He will bring it to completion.  Take heart, do not grow weary!  Take that weary heart captive, with self-control, and eagerly anticipate the harvest!

Welcome to readers from The Better Mom, Heavenly Homemakers, and (my favorite "Bible-Applying-during-the-real-messy-days website) Gracelaced!