I believe it was in Gary Thomas' book "Sacred Marriage" where I read (something in the price-range of) "Marriage is the laboratory where Holiness is cultivated."  The idea was lodged into my brain even though it didn't seem to be my experience.  And then I had children and suddenly I found myself strapped into a straight-jacket lab-coat, in the laboratory where my own holiness is being cultivated.  And if that wasn't challenging enough, I am now homeschooling our 3 sons.  So if mothering is the laboratory, then homeschool has proven to be the petri dish!

Sometimes I think I shouldn't blog about what I haven't mastered.  But I am compelled to write instead from the hard places; hoping everyday to point myself, my children, and any readers who come along, to Jesus.

Last Spring I went to a homeschool convention where Susan Kenmerer spoke about "Grace-drenched Homeschooling" and this morning, following yesterday's graceless school day, I woke-up and went looking for my notes from 8 months ago.  Here are a few verses she cited that are pointing me back to grace today:

You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.  Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:3-6)

Verse 6 absolutely captured my heart in a most profound way this morning, "He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." Most of my trouble with the boys begins when I shun grace and return to the letter of the law, requiring perfection, which leads us to shame. When legalism invades the home, grace flees! LIkewise, when I grow weary of extending grace, legalism crouches at the door, eager to come rushing in again.

This petri dish, homeschooling, has brought to light (without the need of a microscope) that I am weak and imperfect. I mess up, and yesterday it got messy. So this verse, jotted down months ago, gives me great hope today:

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

A new covenant had to be made between God and his people Israel, because the letter of the law was impossible to keep.  Man, with all his atoning sacrifices could never spill enough sacrificial blood to atone for their own sins.  And so God sent his Son to be the perfect, forever sacrifice to die once for all.  And therefore a new covenant was established by God, through God.  And by grace and grace alone we are recipients of the promise.  But if a new covenant has come, why do we continue to return to that which has been done away with?

By calling this covenant “new,” he has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and outdated will soon disappear... For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. (Hebrews 8:13 & 9:15)

The law has been abolished!  It is done!  Hope and grace, forgiveness and new life, peace with God and peace with one another is available through Jesus!  No more shame!

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.  And so he condemned sin in the flesh,  in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  (Romans 8:1-6)

I never knew this part of my salvation thirsty soul until I had children and now more-so as we learn to homeschool together.  Maybe God has allowed me to know my lack of grace that I might not boast in myself as I parent, educate, and encourage mothers coming up behind me.  No. only to Jesus and His sacrifice can we look.  Setting our minds entirely on the new covenant that He alone has accomplished through the generous, costly outpouring of His own blood. 

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 - The Message)

Wherever God has purposed your laboratory, in marriage, child-rearing, single-hood, illness, or great financial distress, submit to the petri dish and the cultivation process.  Author Gary Thomas is also known for these challenging words "Marriage wasn't intended to make you happy but to make you Holy."  O, can we let Him?  Will we allow the refining fire wherever his anointed laboratory? The transforming process leads us from the old, obsolete, legalistic way of living and loving, and into new life?  Can we?  Won't we?  He can.  He will!