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mistakes, shame, and the truth
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Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 )
Back in February our family was ravaged by multiple, tenacious illness', from the boys up. Both Caleb and Brody missed over a week of school right around President's day. One of those fever laden days I spent some time with my eldest reading books about Washington and Lincoln. Since I knew that Caleb would be having a book report assigned in the coming months that required him to illustrate the differences and similarities of two main characters with a Venn diagram, we spent another of our sick days preparing a template comparing the life and character of Lincoln to that of Washington. What fun we had learning together and taking pride in our work. I had written about it here.
Two months later and my son's Venn book report was finally due. We had received specific instructions back in February and wrote down our notes about the book in Caleb's homework notebook, planning to complete the assignment once we had settled into our new place. The following weeks were spent moving, parenting through heart issues, settling into a temporary condo while looking for a new home... etc. Once settled we pulled out our homework notebook, found our notes on the wonderful book Lady Lollipop by Dick King-Smith, and began work together on his creative presentation.
By the way, I can't recommend this book enough.
It is a wonderful story of character development,
kindness, friendship and obedience, perfect for grades K - 2.
But back to my mistake, my shame, and, ultimately, the truth.
While I had misplaced the report instructions during our move (by the way I also can't find our Legoland passes or the children's immunization cards!) Caleb and I had written down the specifics of the assignment in his notebook as not to lose them. But lose them we did, because one of the requirements was to answer four specific questions, and those questions never made their way into Caleb's spiral notebook.
You should have seen Caleb's pride and joy as he carried his bright pink poster-board to school last Monday. Instead of diagraming with large circles, Caleb suggested we use ovals to make it look more like the body of a pig. Then he finished his diagram off with a piggy face and a curly tail. Brilliant! I love his creative mind. But when it came time to give his oral presentation on Friday, he was not prepared to answer the four assigned questions. He came home with a D+.
I thought he was joking as he hung his head in the back seat and announced his grade. No, really, I laughed. I had praised him for his neatness (not his strong suit) and his creativity. He passed up his project, complete with grade and there I saw it, 4 Questions = 0
He missed out on 28 out of 100 points for that mistake.
It's a common mistake in my world. I'm not organized. Even when I follow through with plan making and bill paying, something's poorly executed with shameful consistency. I know this to be true about myself and I try. How I try to be detail oriented.
I apologized to Caleb for misplacing his assignment and not thinking to ask for another copy of it. While some might say its time for my 8 year old to take responsibility for his own assignments, I had helped him "organize" for our move and simply can't leave the blame to him.
Next I wrote an email to Caleb's teacher, apologizing and explaining what had happened, asking her to send the four questions to me so that I could have Caleb write them out over the weekend for her. I explained how important I feel it is for a young learner to not think of themself as a D student. I wrote that note three days ago and haven't heard back from her. Enter shame, stage right.
I've learned a lot this week. While assailed with stones of self-criticism, I have felt God give me a generous portion of His Grace and perspective.
First, I've been able to see the strengths I have that most detail-oriented people do not. I am always looking for teachable moments with my children, foregoing structure to take advantage of God's world, His Word, and sheer inspiration.
Second to that, I have ample opportunities to confess my own weakness' and ask my children for their forgiveness when my short-coming affect them. You can't pay for that kind of lesson through example. It's impact is farther reaching then Venn diagrams or assignments purposed to encourage reading comprehension.
So today I am choosing to believe what is true, what is noble, what is right, what is pure, what is lovely and admirable. Today I am thinking on excellent and praiseworthy truth.
It is easy to look at our children and believe that they are fearfully and wonderfully made... but so are we, dear Mamas. With our personal strengths, and our unique challenges... we are too. Think about such things today.
Welcome to all GraceLaced Readers...
Categories: Character Counts
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1 Comment
Thank you so much for linking up! This is a great post. I have know these same feelings and same choice to think on truth and not fear and lies. God is faithful, even in this situation, and will reveal his good will in each of your lives in due time!
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